The dictionary definition for the word “submissive” is: ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive.
Recently, I discovered (or rediscovered) that the best way to survive office life is to be submissive. After all, the last thing any boss wants is for staff to out wit, out smart or out play them! No, they don’t want competition. If you want to stay connected to your cubicle, the best advice I can give is to lay down, roll over and play dead. Fly under the radar. You need to be submissive.
If you’re entertaining the idea of working in an office [as support staff], ask yourself these three questions:
1. Are you outgoing?
2. Are you driven?
3. Are you intelligent?
If you answered “yes” to even two of the three questions, then may I recommend entreprunurial pursuits, such as high-pressure sales, hair stylist or general contractor. Because if you possess the above three traits, you have the hallmark dominant personality. The dictionary definition for the word “dominant” is: ruling, governing, or controlling; having or exerting authority or influence. As a subordinate, having a dominant personality is lethal in an office environment.
However, if you’re unsure whether you’re a submissive or a dominant, then ask yourself these three questions:
1. Are you passive?
2. Are you unmotivated?
3. Are you uninspired?
If you answered “yes” to even two of these three questions, then do it! Sign up at your local recruiting office right now and become an office worker today! Your boss will love you because you're a follower. You’ll make your boss feel bigger, smarter and more valued than they probably are. After all, the point of the boss-employee working relationship is to benefit them, not the other way around.
Sadly, I recently learned that my futile attempt at trying to be a valued employee backfired miserably. Instead, I uknowingly and unwittingly wound up convincing my boss I was trying to be the office martyre. When this came to light, I was told, “It would be a shame to lose you…”. It didn’t take long to work out that this thinly veiled display of concern was really intended as a hollow threat. Evidentally, it's time for me to change [again]. But what if I don’t want to change [again]? As it happens, I enjoy being driven, motivated and creative.
I have a very difficult decision to make:
1. Stay = be submissive; or
2. Go = be true to myself.
As the late great Katharine Hepburn used to say, “What to do. What to do?” Yes indeed, what to do? I suppose the most important question I need to ask myself is: what value does the job bring to me? My boss has made it clear what they expect from me, but what do I get out of it? When I come up with the answer to that question, I’ll let you know. And ultimately, how the Universe works.
